sleepless nights and bus rides home have always left me pondering.
so last night i was just thinking about all that had happened this past 6months ever since A's ended. and when i look back and think about the fun and freedom we had, especially the bintan trip after prom, i cant help but hope we can all go back in time to better appreciate what we had back then. i used to appreciate things only when i look back into the past and because of all the looking back, i have finally learnt to treasure the people and situations around me when things are nearing the end, but sadly not right from the start.

Isaac Melvin Matthew Bryan and Roy - my favourite boys.
i dont know why, this sec2 math class which i took up only 2months ago has become my favourite class currently. all these times, lessons with them have always been fun with all their jokesand my notsofunny jokes or so they claim. i guess i really feel very comfortable teaching, connecting and even joking with them. and because of that i feel more like their friend rather than their teacher. they can be irritating at times when all of them gang up to swipe me but stil its not hard to feel their respect for me when teaching gets serious. subconsciously, i realise classes with the 5 of them will never be the same if anyone is not around. but recently, Roy has left this class for good. i dont know the reason but obviously as his tutor, i feel lousy. so yesterday, i broke the news to them and they all felt the class was much quieter than usual and the atmosphere was, well just a little emo. haha and i never knew guys can be so sentimental.

you know sometimes i really wonder how amazing i have past these 6months without doing anything much. now that uni is starting in august, i stil dont know how i should be feeling. i know i should be excited because i'm finally going back to school after these 6 months of work, but i got a feeling i'm actually beginning to dread school already. i was just imagining days piled up with school work, no more slacking shopping playing or even social life and the most drastic change, no more tuition. in 2 months or so, i will already be back in school and i will have to decide which classes i need to give up at the tuition place. i stil remember dreading tuition for some classes (and now stil haha!) and its so sad to know i wont be able to feel this way even if i want to in 2 months time :( so i am already starting to enjoy my lessons while time stil allows.

changes changes changes. Life's full of them and i have been through quite some myself, i'm still against and fear the idea of changing. though i dread changes, i guess its good in the way how it allows me to learn to have a clearer perspective of things and to treasure what we have in store for us.

do you stil remember the dreams i used to have?